this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize