I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think my moral compass just broke
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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