this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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