question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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