He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
