My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
