i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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