When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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