If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
