Buhtt sex?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
