dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
