I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
