If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I deserve this hangover.
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