Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
