well most of my day revolves around power hour
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
