Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
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