guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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