Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
