just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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