she woke up with a sticky ear
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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