That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
