just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
