I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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