I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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