Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
