Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
