omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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