office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
