how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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