did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
