the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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