K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.