brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.