Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
