you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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