Pappa wants mamma naked
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
