perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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