btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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