did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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