Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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