yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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