i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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