Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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