your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
