is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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