Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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