Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
