i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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