I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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