She's JV to your varsity
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
