i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
