Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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