Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
