someone get that fucking seahorse.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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