I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
