This is not my ceiling
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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