The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
