Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she peed on how many people?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize