I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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