I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
