He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
