See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
