I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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