Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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